Trading UpAs she does with all of her major decisions, Minnie brought a friend along. Joan was the obvious choice, since she is self-assured and decisive, and it was Joan that first suggested Minnie replace her old janky ride anyway.
The lot was overwhelmingly large, used rides of every make and model parked nose to nose, flooded with blinding lights so that the bumpers positively gleamed. Minnie immediately scoured the lot for a white 1976 Mustang. No luck. There was a red one, but Joan immediately pointed out that it had been in an accident.
"Obviously a lemon. Who knows what trauma lies under that hood. Besides," she adds. "Who gets Mustangs anymore? That dreamboat has sailed. You need to be more practical at your age."
Minnie agreed and waddled on, browsing and stopping to glance every so often. She remembered all of her friends' advice and the various things she's read from magazines. For a casual buyer like herself, what's important is model, make, and money.
So they inspected dozens of rides, poked and prodded under the hood, chatted over the spec sheets, and sniffed the upholestry.
Finally, they decided on one large, practical, shiny ride. Joan insisted that she was completely envious.
So Minnie drove her new boyfriend home, and that night, she stayed awake as he snored like a sputtering engine. Even after consulting the various consumer indexes and friends' expertise, she still isn't sure she made the right choice. She thought of Bob, and felt a pang of regret. Where is he now? Is he out there cruising around with someone new, or is he crushed and down in the dumps?
But there's little time for regret. She has a new ride now, and its time again to worry about his oil level and transmission, their tune-ups and braking. But perhaps its just that given all the talk of "model, make, and money", she just didn't know what she wanted anymore.
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I was making guacamole, his recipe, dropping the pits into the green mixture with a plop plop plop, when I conceived of this story. It's meant to be funny. Or rather, this is what you get when you wring out my bitterness, and I hope its funny.
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I am a very a confused person. I have a lot to work out in my head, such as who I am and what I believe in before I can hope to join the ranks of the living.
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